I travel a lot, generally sampling the delights of a mid-range hotel. I don't have particularly complex needs. I'm not a whinger, or a diva. But...
- I don't need someone to take my bag to my room for me. I've got it the 6,000 miles from my house to this point, I can get it the final 50 yards to my room. In so doing avoiding the Mexican stand-off when realizing I only have $20 bills to offer as a tip
- I've stayed in this hotel chain lots of times, why do I still have to give so many details at check-in?
- I've crammed my clothes into a tiny suitcase, they will be creased. Can we have an iron in the room please?
- Wifi; It's 2017, it's a basic human right! Please don't make it difficult to connect, and (really) don't charge me for it
- A plug by the bed to charge my phone would be nice. Do I have to get out of bed to switch off my alarm?
- NYC hotels; is it possible to have aircon that doesn’t sound like a 747 taking off? And why so dark?
- Lights; Argghh, why are there so many switches? It's 10pm, I fancy an early night, by 10.20pm I've eventually managed to turn off all the lights.....except the annoying one that seems to be shining from the mini-bar cupboard
- I'll be working, is it possible to have a desk big enough for a laptop, and a chair that actually goes up and down?
- Pillows; I don't need a pillow menu, just a couple of pillows that don’t mean sleeping with my your head on a rock, or propped-up like I'm on the north face of the Eiger
- Water; A couple of bottles please, and they really should be free
- Why does it feel like you need a PhD in Mechanical Engineering to work out how to operate the shower?
I'm here on business, not for an 'experience', please just get the basics right and I'll never moan again I promise. (I do like those cookies you get in a Doubletree mind you!)